murphy's law is a very simple, elegant, age old adage- anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. basically, it means that whatever can go wrong, is pre-destined to go wrong, and there is nothing you can do about it. in another form, mountaineers in the fifties said that, 'anything that can possibly go wrong, does'. how it is attributed to Mr Murphy, i do not know, but in the fifties and sixties, everyone from the chairman of the Atomic Energy Commision, a Lewis Strauss, to a certain Mr Reilly, were giving their own version, and hoping that it would be attributed to them. Mr Strauss for example said, 'if anything bad can happen, it probably will'. i suppose he was hoping for too much, since he stated that it probably would go wrong, hence he probably wouldnt get to have it named after him. Mr Reilly, associated it to science, by stating it as, ' in any scientific or engineering endeavor, anything that can go wrong will go wrong'. he shouldnt have hoped for it to be his either.
eventually though, after what i feel sure were a series of misfortunes, it was attributed to a Mr Murphy (and i do not know anything about this guy, so if you are extremely curious, like niki, please go on to wikipedia and check for yourself).
i once even tried proving Murphy's law, but as you can guess, everything kept going wrong.
eventually though, i forgot all about it, until last night, which was the time that everything started going wrong.
first off, i was at the gym (predictably. remind me to tell you about my gyming experiences someday), and was doing some simple, basic exercises for the shoulder and chest. and i unfortunately sprained my left wrist. i figured it was a one-off incident, which would soon pass, but little did i know, that i was facing the wrath of Murphy (woe onto me for trying to prove his law wrong!).
soon, i was forced to leave my work-out halfway through, because i was in little condition to carry on with my aching wrist. so i went to the market, to get myself some lemonade, and boiled eggs (i know its not the best combination ever, but whatever). when i got to the market, i realised that my wallet was where i had left it before going to the gym, in my cupboard! cursing my stupidity, and not yet realizing my true ailment, i went back to my hostel room, a full fifteen minute walk, to retrieve my wallet. this time, i did get to the market, only to find the shop that sells eggs, fresh out of boiled eggs, and the guy tells me that he was anyway planning to shut shop early today!
i mentally cursed him ten times, and decided to forgo my eggs. after taking my daily dose of lemonade, i began walking back to my hostel. on the way, i came across another chap that sold eggs. thanking god for my good luck, i got myself two boiled eggs, only to be struck by Murphy, in the form of a barking dog, leaping at me, and stealing my eggs! i didnt give up just then. instead, i tried purchasing another couple of eggs. these ones, were just fine, but then i found out that my money, was all in my cupboard still, and that my wallet was now effectively empty (its part of my little scheme to not overspend. i only ever carry as much money as i presume i shall require). and i realized this after i had eaten.
thankfully the guy who sold (or actually just gave) me the eggs was kind. he only screamed politely. and eventually, he let me talk to some friends who were coincidently going back to their own hostels at the same time. they loaned me the money to get back (so much ruckus over ten bucks! that guy is too mean).
when i got back, i figured that i would try to get on with my story writing. at that opportune moment, my laptop blinked a warning- Low battery. as i plugged it in to charge, the electricity at my hostel winked goodbye. within three minutes, so did my laptop! even then i did not recognize the unmerciful hand of murphy (I'll get back someday you scheming scoundrel).
figuring that i might as well eat dinner, i walked over to the kitchen to discover that i was slightly late, and that even the leftovers from the leftovers were mostly finished. i was so upset, i just grabbed the chef (a fancy term for the cook), and asked him if there was anything to eat. apparently, it was my bad day, and the answer was no. eventually i settled for corn-flakes and milk.
thankfully, my sleep was undisturbed.
then, i woke up this morning to realize that my phone had blinked good night, and was switched off. thankfully my alarm is my mind. as i put it on charge, i found that my toothpaste had finished, and that forgetfull me, i had forgotten to purchase another (this is the third day in a row, so i'm not sure whether to blame it on Murphy or Hanlon*.)
i borrowed my roomies toothpaste (nice guy, even if he uses a not so nice toothpaste. i cant give its name, for the sake of privacy). then, after brushing, i had a bath etc (thank god that was uneventful). while i was dressing, i noticed that i had no ironed, fresh clothes for college. by this time, i didnt have the energy to argue with fate (which is what i thought until then), and so i settled on a half-dirty t-shirt, and a decently old pair of jeans. breakfast was a nice affair, where i split milk all over my not so clean shirt. when i got to college (in a different, slightly more dirty shirt), i was told that there was a viva to be held in the first lecture, and i was up first because my roll number is first in the class. unsurprisingly i was unprepared, and unfailingly the teacher was unabsent**. i gave a forgettable viva (i've always been bad at viva's anyway). and after i was done, the rest of the class proceeded to claim that we had such a tough schedule that they were unprepared and hence deserved another week.
do i need to tell you that the teacher gave them a week?
i spent the next two hours, on a pc which was made in the 90's, trying to write the previous post***. the internet connection was also quite slow. it took me a full two hours to get through with what would otherwise have taken only forty minutes. AND i nearly lost the post twice due to internet timeouts!
i spent the next lecture sneezing (Yes i contracted a cold sometime recently) the next lecture, i spent half sleeping (probably this is because of the teachers boring voice. fortunately i wasnt kicked out). finally came lunch break, and i headed to the library to read the news. guess what, some kids had hogged over the main news-papers, and when i finally did get them, forty minutes later, they were mutilated beyond recognition.
in the next lecture, i was again sneezing, and sniffing, and now coughing (it gets worse, wait for it).
and in the next, a maths lecture, we were given five questions to solve. and i got them all wrong even on the third or forth attempts.
finally free from the absurdity of college, and still unaware of my true malady, i got back to my room. i had lunch, while conversing with my sister, and we carried on the conversation almost until 5 in the evening (bye bye balance). in this time, my laptop caught a virus, cleaned it up, recovered from a major system error, and suddenly started telling me that my copy of windows was NOT GENUINE.
do you know, my copy of windows is an official copy, my laptop is in fact an official laptop of the government of India (its my dads. i've borrowed it for now, until alternative arrangements can be made). thank you microsoft for telling me that the government of india deals in counterfeit windows. at five, sick and tired of the ill-behavior of my laptop, i went to sleep. and i slept all the way till 8, when i awoke to realize that my wrist was still aching, and that i had already missed a day's gym. my copy of windows was still not genuine, my cold was worse, the internet at my hostel was now malfunctioning (well thats gone alright now, THANK GOD), and for dinner, we had a delicacy, which was hence already hogged down by the gluttons i live with.
for the second day running, i ate corn-flakes, and i spoke to niki. she tells me, that she is bored. i tell her that i'm having a bad day. in between, Will sends me a forward, regarding Murphy's law. suddenly i realize my ailment, and so niki tells me to write a post about it (this post is hence dedicated to you niki :-) )
i try, only to find my internet not working, and my eyes burning. at this point, i think i almost cried in misery.
thankfully my pain vanished, i could write again, and i tried writing this piece. and it took me another couple of hours getting it write (beg pardon, right. see how bad i feel!) and in the meanwhile, my eyes have started stinging again, my hand still aches, my nose is irritating, and threatening to run a marathon, and i am in no sort of physical condition to even sit up, let alone do anything else!
truly, murphy hates me.
*Hanlon's razor- another ancient adage which states - never attribute to malice, that which is adequately explained by stupidity. i think you can see the reference.
**i could have said present, but it was too tempting to say unabsent. allow a agonized soul his little pleasures, and overlook the grammatical error
***the post is called Tragedy thrills me, and can be found at - Tragedy Thrills me. do check it out.
PS- today, i have relied slightly on exaggeration, and on foot-notes. that, is part of my creative license. so there is little you can do to avoid it. cheers :)
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