Lying up!

well here i am, with a laptop in my hand, and a blog page open, and a very irate friend beside me, who's very upset that i keep calling him a liar. yes, i openly call this friend a lair, and no, the fact that he is a liar, does not affect my friendship with him. however, i'm having a hard time convincing him that he lies, or in other words he spreads deceit.

before i continue, i suppose its best to introduce you to both this friend, and this little tiff we've been having since the time we were old enough to judge a statement as a lie. this friend, is the wonderful chap Will, to whom i've referred earlier. he, just like me, is an engineering student, with little to do besides watching movies, and reading sci-fi/fantasy books. ever since i've known him, he has maintained that he never speaks a word that is untrue. in fact, i agree with him, he has to date never uttered a single word that is not true.

yet i call him a liar.

i have my reasons, but before i dwell onto them, i suppose its best to give a little essay on LIES. this is of course a futile effort considering the ever smart public. however, just in case there is a moron reading this, i insist on giving this little speech. if you're not interested, you may like to skip the following few passages, until you reach the point where it says- 'Posted by NikD at.....' or in other words, skip this, and go elsewhere!

so, Lies. for quite some time i've wanted to prove Will to be a liar. and so, i decided to study all i could about lying, in the hope of finding some or the other loophole in which i can entangle him, and hence defeat him (i'm like lawyers in this respect. i can, and will, take any advantage offered to me, in my quest to beat Will, and for that matter, any other debate).

According to my plentiful research, lying is basically, an act or intent of deceit. there are of course various types of lies, based on your intention, the severity of the lie, the effects of the lie on yourself, the effects of the lie on others, and of course on the number of people who actually fell for it.

Donald Trump, the great business man, was once asked his opinion about lying in business. he was of the opinion that in business, lying starts from the first time you hand your resume to the interviewer. he went on to say that the Resume is the one greatest lie that everyone says in business. after this, he mentioned the second biggest lie, Advertisement. Advertisement according to him, is the single way a business earns (which is after all the point of any business), and mostly, advertisement is false! however, he then proceeded to say that while all businesses lie, it is more like exaggeration, and hence if he lied, it wasnt really a lie, but advertisement! at this point he was asked, 'when does it become a lie then?' his reaction was simple- 'When the other businessmen do it.'

by saying this, the great man did not just tell it like it is, he also showed a rare piece of honesty in today's world. such is the situation today, that a lie is a lie, only when someone else does it. or of course you get caught.

getting back to the point (from which i think i digressed a long time ago). there are a few types of lies, that seem to fit Will, as i found out. these include,

1)lies of omission- leaving out part of the truth, and hence letting the other person believe something that is false.

2)Careful speaking- speaking the complete truth in such a manner that the other person interprets it to be something other than the truth

3)economical with the truth- basically, holding out on the truth, by saying the bare minimum, or lesser even if possible.

4)misleading- in this case, again there is a misrepresentation of the truth, except here, the liar is doing the misrepresentation, and in careful speaking, the person being lied to is fucking with his or her own brain.

5)jocose lie- an obvious lie, made in jest (paradoxically, this lie actually lets people know the truth!)

then comes a matter of intent.

if a person says a complete truth, in a rather sarcastic tone, meant to imply the opposite of what they said, then while the person may argue that he didnt lie, it doesnt pay to trust this person either! in another case, if a person has an intention of misleading another, and he does so by any available means, while strictly remaining within the parameters of not speaking a lie, then that person is technically lying. then, there is the little matter when someone's intent is to make sure that another person is not hurt. this is called a noble lie, but a deceit nonetheless.

and before i ramble on about deceit, i suppose i'd better get back to the point. i presented Will with these facts this morning. he was surprised to say the least. once he had overcome his shock, he looked at me, his eyes blank. then he said, 'So basically you mean to say that i am not an honest person?'

slowly i nodded, feeling happy, that i had finally beaten my arch-rival in a debate! my nemesis looked at me, as i smiled triumphantly. after a rather dramatic pause, he looked me straight in the eye, then said, 'So you mean to call me a lying, dishonest guy?'

again i nodded, feeling victorious.

then, i noticed the slight gleam in his eyes, and before i could help it, he said, 'So whats your point? when did i claim to not lie? when did i claim to be honest? all i ever said was that i do not speak something that is untrue. please contradict me in that, if you have any sort of argument to present that is.'

the bloody freaking fool!

he used a verbal trick, not to mention a loop-hole, to defeat me yet again! GOD-DAMNIT!!!! i lost yet again, in my daily verbal sparring with Will!!!!!!!!

cursing, i let him go, only awaiting the next opportunity to beat him! some day i will surely defeat him, and that day, i shall stand proud and victorious! until then, he can stay hidden somewhere in my mind. after all, i'm not even sure that he isnt a figment of my own imagination (which is vast, i can assure you).

damn.