confessions of a moral policeman

i am a moral policeman. it is my deepest desire to throw my own rules of morality, steeped in hypocrisy, on the rest of civilization. this in itself, is a manifestation of my innermost being, which wants to control others, purely for the sadistic and narcissistic joy i get out of it. in other words, i desire the cheap thrill of calling you an indecent, immoral, sick human being, because i know that i am all of these, and you probably arent.

as a moral policeman, it shall be my right to,
1) watch skimpily clad girls, attain a cheap voyeuristic thrill, and then, in a really loud voice, criticize them, and their family, and their upbringing, until they are humiliated enough to bow before me, apologize, and leave me, feeling like a king.
2) go to the USA; while there, indulge in drinking till i puke, have babies i dont know about, contract three different types of addictions and STDs, get cured for them in a private rehab center, and then, upon my return to India, claim that the USA lacks culture, and anyone doing things that they do, is as good as a criminal, and is guilty of degrading my ancient civilizations morals, and cultural heritage, not to mention, degrading the future generations.
3) force woman to stay covered up, and as far as possible, stay at home. i shall never allow any female in my presence, to either be employed, or educated. moreover, i shall ensure that women are kept as down-trodden as possible, because i feel threatened by them]
4) claim that music channels that show 'item-songs' and other such videos, are destroying the culture, future,etc of my great nation. however, i shall not protest when a TV soap shows a) a man cheating on his wife and getting away with it, b) a man killing his brother for the inheritance sakes, and getting away with it, c)a woman(read 'vamp') dressing up like a 'slut', and flirting with ten men, destroying fifteen households, dishing out slander, abuse and insult for everybody etc, and getting away with it. i do not find these things immoral, indecent, or degrading to the values of society, as these things are shown on a TV channel in which i have a 30% stake, due to my vast amount of black money.
5) demand that globalization is destroying my society; call europeans, americans, and others (in fact everyone on whom i cant force my repulsive opinion) as worthless, indecent etc(well you know the adjectives i shall use, so use your imagination). in fact, i shall have the audacity to claim that everyone apart from me is a jackass, and wrong too.
6) force all unmarried people to consider everyone else as a sibling. how any of them would ever spawn children with such a mindset, is none of my business.
7) claim that sex, making out, being physical in any way at all, is amoral, and shouldnt be done. it is irrelevant that i have sex with five different woman ten times every week. and i neednt be worried about how the human race shall survive. i have enough sex to take care of that.
8) call anyone who doesnt think like me, a jackass.
9) say that reality tv is degrading etc(you know the list), because the reality shows have more trp than my own show (read point 4), and so are eating into my income.

further, as a moral policeman, it shall also be my duty to
1) Refer to religious texts as a source for my absurd, obnoxious and irrelevant statements. my knowledge and understanding of said text does not matter. neither does the real meaning or intention of said text. the only thing that matters, is how i choose to interpret said religious text.
2) Refer to the biographies of obscure politicians of the early 6 century (BC) as a source of my claims that certain activities would never have happened at a certain time.
3) incorrectly quote famous politicians and world leaders in my attempt to justify my statements.
4) imply that a famous personality who i have never met, nor even spoken to, is a famous believer of my moral vales. this kind of false advertisement, is the sort of thing i shall rely on for publicity.
5) misinterpret the statements of people who are now dead, as and when it furthers my obnoxious causes.


i am a moral policeman, and i am a moral policeman because i love to mind other peoples business and lives. i am also a control freak who only wishes to control the lives of everyone. i need to dominate people, otherwise i shall not be happy.

i am a moral poliecman, and i do not apologize for what i am.

if you are a moral policeman too, join the club, and we can share tips. if not, then i shall soon be forcing my own opinion on you, after calling you immoral, indecent, inappropriate, and so on and so forth; so run for your life.

I AM A MORAL POLICEMAN, so sue me.



(disclaimer- the opinions expressed in this article, are not necessarily the authors(that is to say my own) opinion,and he does not claim any responsibility for the above opinions. neither does he advertise them, or suggest them. he is only remarking on an aspect of humanity, and civilization, as far as you are concerned. his own opinion and views, are irrelevant.)