it is an often asked query- 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'
to say the least, it's an interesting question; a question with a million possible answers. and behind each of those answers, lies an in-depth understanding of the man who answered the question. in fact, i'd go so far to suggest, that one might even judge the character of a man, based on how he answers this question.
for example:
-Sir Isaac Newton, was a man devoted to physics, and would probably answer, 'A chicken at rest tends to stay at rest, a chicken at motion, tends to cross the road.' unsurprising answer honestly, though in all fairness, physicists still revere him, and not me, so such answers do work!
-Confucius, the great philosopher, and a man of infinite mystery, would probably have said- 'The real question here is whether the chicken crossed the road, or the road moved beneath it' after giving this answer, he would then proceed to spend several weeks in conversation with a chicken, at the end of which he would proclaim that he had understood something new about humans, through the example of the chicken. and we would still be trying to figure out what exactly he meant, so thank God he wasnt asked.
-George Bush jr, would probably say, 'We must take the chicken into custody, and find out if it has any nuclear weapons, and if not, we must find out what it knows about the nuclear weapons program in Iraq, and Afghanistan.' thankfully, he has been replaced by their current President, Mr Obama.
-the great yoga guru Baba Ramdev, would answer- 'This chicken has been practicing Yoga for six months now, and it does the pranayam daily. look at the improvement in its health.'
-an MBA graduate, will never answer the above question. instead, he/she shall take the chicken, give it six months solid advertisement, as 'THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD!', and then proceed to sell it for so much money, that you could feed a small african nation with it for six months.
-Robin Sharma, the wonderful author (Of 'The monk who sold his ferrari' fame), would again not provide an answer, but would proceed to write another best selling novel titled, yep you guessed it, 'The Chicken that crossed the Road'
-Cristiano Ronaldo, the great soccer player, might be bold enough to suggest, 'Because i kicked it across.'
-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, might just be caught on tape telling an undercover journalist, 'Well i dont know why the chick (As in chick, not the baby chicken kind, but chick as in the female kind) crossed the road, but i know where i took her from there on out.'
-And while we're mentioning journalists, journalists would probably not answer at all, but would make it a 'Breaking News' and show it on your television for a few hours straight.
-Army officials in Kashmir/Pakistan occupied Kashmir/China occupied Kashmir might not hold their fire long enough to let the chicken cross the road, hence making the question irrelevant...
-Indian politician Mayawati (or Behenji as she is popularly known as), would first inquire as to the cast of the chicken, and then if it were a SC chicken, she would demand adequate compensation for the poor chicken that had to cross the road.
-MNS chief Raj Thackeray would ask around as to the state that the chicken originated from, and if it were not a Marathi, then he would proceed to demand that the chicken had exploited the Maharashtrians, by using the road, and as such the chicken would then be punished.
-Propagators of the 2012 apocalypse, might end up saying, 'it doesnt matter why it crossed the road. neither the chicken, nor the road shall exist after 21st december 2012.' whatever the fate of the rest of the world, these people really should die on that date!!!
well these are just a few examples to go on with, among others...
but do you notice one recurring theme among all these answers?
in none of these answers, is the chicken ever asked this question. in none of these situations, does the chicken give a damn.
and in none of these situations (perhaps excluding berlusconi, the over-sexed PM), does the person giving the answer give a damn either....
the only people who really give a shit, are the people who hear the answer. the only ones who understand a divine answer in any of these situations, is the perpetual common man.... the only one who will listen to these answers, and wonder as to what a great man it was who said this, is again the common man....
at the end of the day, its not the participants, the performers, the doers, that will give a second thought to this... its the spectators... like you.... like me (considering i actually spent enough time thinking about it, to write about it)...
but eventually, in the greater picture, the chicken never cares about why it crossed the road.... nor does anyone who is asked this question.... it is only we, the people, who find some divine meaning in the crossing of roads and the speculation as to the reasons for crossing....
the funny thing is, that even though i have now come to realize that in the long run, it doesnt matter, i still speculate, and wonder! and so i asked my friends Will and Niki....
Will had something wonderful to say to this, when i asked him why he thought the chicken had crossed the road... at that time, he knew that i was writing this piece. and he didnt know the contents of it.... his response was, 'so that i can read your bloody post, so now get on with it, why dont you?'
obviously Will isnt that concerned about chicken, unless they're on the menu for dinner in which case, he's suddenly very interested...
Niki, was even more unhelpful... she saw this, laughed, and then went on to compliment me about how funny i was... she then proceeded to suggest a few more answers, using her own remarkable wit....
in my desperation to find a final answer to this query, i asked swami, the paranoid know it all..... he had another interesting answer to give me. he said, 'Assume that you are the chicken. believe that you are the chicken. now cross the road, and ask yourself what you have achieved by crossing the road. that my friend shall be your answer.'
at this point, half mad with failure, i sought out God, and gave Him a call (yes i have his number), to ask Him this eternal query! the only thing i heard at the other end was a wonderful lady who said, 'This line is temporarily busy. please try again later.' (and just so you know that is what i hear whenever i call him, so dont bother asking me for the number, it is rarely if ever, available!)
eventually, i gave up on the issue....
much later, at an event where we were asked what our dream of the future was, i answered, 'I Dream of a better world my friends, a World, where a bloody chicken can cross a road without its motives being cross-examined by 5 billion people!'
well now thats one dream that aint coming true too soon.....
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