Monday, October 18, 2010

Immortality? i'd rather die before facing that!

Apparently scientists in some god forsaken part of the world have come up with some god forsaken medical procedure that can prolong human life by about twenty odd years. and some other idiotic fool in some other idiotic place has come up with a separate procedure that can prolong life by about 10 years. and there is another heretical fool who claims that his independent procedure shall enhance life by 13 years. and so on...

then there is this man in another place, who believes that he can undo aging itself, making us perpetually young, at least until the time we die, after which it doesnt really matter actually. (and no, while i do not know the specifics i can however assure you that this procedure does not increase life span, it only makes us live our life as younger people)

interestingly, if we combine these procedures, we should technically end up with quite a significant increase in life span, not to mention the ability to live that life as a thirty year old! thats like having not only your cake, but someone elses cake too! and also eating it all. heavenly isnt it?

according to my nemesis, the english teacher, it is apparently a universal human wish to seek the ability to live longer. why does she attribute such things to ALL humans! why can she not talk only for herself? i for instance, do not seek the ability to live longer, and i have a good reason behind that.

and no the reason has nothing to do with population explosion, wastage of resources, depletion of resources, over taxation of the world, or in any other way affecting such a large scale of events. its a simple reason. before i give the reason, i'll give an example of a fictional character from a story book, who was immortal.

for some reason this character was named wowbagger the infinitely prolonged. and he wasnt born immortal. instead he was made immortal in a scientific experiment that no one has since been able to repeat. initially, he had a great time, making money on insurance schemes that bet on peoples death and betting his friends to death defying experiences. after a while though, he got bored. it was all the fault of sunday afternoons, and afternoon tea proclaimed the story, and now wowbagger was bored!

eventually, he began to curse himself for not dying, and he felt the universe had insulted him by granting him immortality!

finally he ended up renting a space craft, a time machine, and a computer with infinite memory, to keep track of all living creatures, and he came up with a goal, something that defined him. it was not a nice goal. in fact he himself said it was a bad goal. the goal was this- that he would go to every living being that has ever existed, and he would insult them all. and he would do it all in alphabetical order. (obviously it was a sci-fi book which explains the technologies and the immortality)

the book went on to explain that immortality has evil consequences, that can drive people insane!


and that in summary is the reason. if someone becomes immortal, they shall end up bored! after a while, there will be nothing left to do for people if they dont die ever! eventually, we NEED death, if only as a release from mundane day to day life!

or consider life. to live, we dont just need a body. it has been independently concluded by various sources that for life, we need a lot of money, preferably a house in the swiss alps, aged whiskey, french wine, a regular and healthy dose of good food, nightclubs, Mc donalds, italian food, a lamborghini, a mercedes, and a hell lot of more money to keep all of this up. there are a few other things, for the entire list wait up until i put it all up in a future post. as we can see, being undying is just not enough! there are a lot of other things we need for life. and these things need money. and for money we need a job. and for a job we need to spend a load of time. and in a perfect example of a negative feedback loop, we end up with less time, more work, and no life.
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this is very likely to depress us, cause undue stress and boredom. the point being that if we live longer, we'll long for more of a life, and the more we long, the faster our ability to live is diminished, and the lesser we actually live. at the end of the day, if we become immortal overnight, we're very likely to live bored, depressed, dull lives! and in the end we shall end up not wanting that life anymore!

believe me, its much better while we're mortal and likely to die! so hope to see you dead soon, and we'll meet on the other side where we'll unfortunately be immortal! you can tell me i was right while i still enjoy hearing those words ;)



PS: scientists, researchers, professors, and some clergymen are exemptions. they are all incapable of being bored though very capable of killing through boredom. hence they can be provided immortality, though in the long run we shall all die under their BORING immortal rule. so i guess even they should not get this. ah! pity.

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